i think, i'm a good music

with tip of my pen endowed with words
with the words of my body impregnated with power
I'm sure of changing MY WORLD
with my body imbued with dance
with my dance full of emotion
I'm sure of touching MY CROWD

The ego of performance will not
restrict me from delivering what
the higher force has bestowed upon me
you can argue with philosophers
you can argue with poets
but you can't argue with good music,
i think i got some good rhythms
remaining in the guts of my soul
I am a music full of soul
...always seeking for greater rhythms

Solo images

to HAVE or to BE

TO HAVE is a verb, to have is equally a doing word, it is quite imaginable that, "To have" which in other words could be to possess, to acquire, to own or to hold. All these still brings us back to the ability to be in possession of anything exterior to the peripheries of our contours, being it intellectual, material or spiritual or superficial, it still bring us to the point where there is an action that triggers our awareness for a certain need, so to have can in a shorter phrase, be explained as the action that takes place outside the "self" in oneself, there is always an action that occurs before this, either metaphysical or metamorphose change reaction takes place. 

One can't own all the golds of this life, the diamonds and houses and cars and tall building or have the knowledge of ten languages, the knowledge of sciences of poetry without a special effort from the part of this being, a special effort that puts him on the run, an effort that makes him remain awake all night, or the one that even makes him loose his friends and family, an effort that makes him stand up and go and run and jump and fly not because he loves to, but that is the ritual it takes to have those possessions.

TO BE, or to exist, to have oneself, the word BE and the questioning of a human being about his or her existence automatically distinguish him from just an animal and marks the beginning of his purpose in this mother earth. In the same manner, a group of individuals coming together to form a grouping, will not be validated, until they are able to define their being, their existence and purpose.

Many a time there has been a strong confusion of TO HAVE with TO BE, that is why some will say, i am the director of an institution, i am an Artiste or i was an army, but no one have i met and on his business card, inscribed HUMAN BEING or A BEING, whereas that is what we are for real and nothing more, all those qualifications does not validate our purpose in life but what we do with these posts or possessions is what actually brings out the being in our human. 

"To be", self, the ability to understand that no two human beings comes from the same internal world, each of us has our own world inside of us and every where we go, that is the only world in which we are ambassadors of, we are the god, the president and the decision maker of this world, the moment this is understood life will become easier and the respect for others will reign. Ghandi said "BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD"

MY LOVER!

NOW ITS BEEN HOW MANY DAYS AND NIGHT
WAITING FOR THE BETTER TIMES TO COME
CONTINEOUSLY SITTING IN FRONT OF THIS OLD COMPUTER OF MINE
CONSTANTLY WAITING FOR THAT LONG EXPECTED MAIL
FOR THAT KNOWN SEPULCHRAL VOICE ON MY PHONE...

ITS BEEN HOW MANY FULL MOON PAST
MEDITATING ON THE ODDUR OF OUR BEST MOMENTS
SLEEPING AND NOT WILLING TO WAKE UP
'COS THIS IS THE ONLY MEETING PLACE LEFT FOR US
FINALLY WAKING TO OUR LOVE SONG ON THE RADIO

"for how long will i remain fidel
knowing that my old age will soon send the youth away
for how long will i remain in the rain
when there are shelters available for me"

THIS MORNING I'M WALIKING AWAY, RUNNING AWAY,
SPRINTING AWAY FROM MY BOREDOM
I WANT TO LOOK BACK TO SEE A LIFE WELL SPENT
WITHOUT REGRET DURING MY OLD AGE
ITS BORING TO BE LONELY KNOWING THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE

FORGET OUR PAST MY LOVER, FORGET ME FAST
SEE OTHER COLOURS, SMELL OTHER ODDURS
ITS BEEN HOW MANY NIGHT HAVE I WET MY BED
ITS BEEN HOW MANY TWILIGHT HAVE I SOAKED MY PILLOW
FROM TODAY I WANT TO RE-WRITE MY DESTINY
TOMMOROW MUSN'T LOOK LIKE YESTERDAY

I SHALL OFTEN SEND YOU PRESERVATIVES MY LOVER,
NO LOVE MAKING WITHOUT CONDOMS
DON'T TELL ME ABOUT THE GUY YOU MET AT THE BUS STOP
DO NOT TELL ME ABOUT HOW HE MADE LOVE TO YOU
BUT LET ME OFTEN HEAR FROM YOU
AND TELL ME YOU ARE HAVING FUN... just like i do

Fidelity as a concept

This is a response to a note written by Agnes Myriam Chafei. Titled Fidelity.

This morning i stumbled on a note coupled by Agnes around an incidence that found me kissing a girl in a party, she was disappointed and perhaps thought i was the only remaining guy on earth who one can stamped with fidelity and she lost hope coupled with a lot of deception.

Agnes, i still believe very strongly that fidelity is not an idealist concept, but it really exist, if fidelity is to mean being true to the other party then i believe it does exist, but if it is a concept which turn down the human part of us, which arrogantly go against the human nature, a concept which closes all doors to mistakes and errors then i don't believe in it as well, let me go back again to make it clearer.
If i happen to kiss a girl against my proper will and power in a party, the girl proposes a hand which i'd have liked to take without any form of regret and reject, if i hadn't a woman in my life that i love so much, if i happen to call this girl, to inform her that i think we are both trying to eat our meat raw, that we can't eat this cake and still have it; 

Remember, even if i like this girl, but still the fact that i have a woman which i really love and loves me so much in turn, this fact keeps ringing in my mind and becoming the major factor why I CAN'T  engage in any further action of such... then finally informing my woman about the whole panorama, asking for her pardon, making her realized that such won't deliberately happen again, i don't wish to justify my actions and its not a thing that bothers me that much, if someone judges me, moreover that's what we all do everyday, we judge. Profoundly inside of me, without thinking of the word fidelity or not, i think i have done the right thing by having the courage to inform my woman about this and i have realized my own mistake.

But the flip side of it all is that, why do girls always put the blame of infidelity on the male party, remember this girl knows quite well that the guy is engaged and nothing will make him stop loving his woman, yet she went on announcing her non-regret for whatever happened, why will you accept to be the mistress of a guy that has someone already and you want to blame men for infidelity, i will as well blame women for causing mishap in the minds of the men, 

If one will start basing the root of one's relationship on how much the other party look at an opposite sex then there is an undefined purpose of being together, if my woman and i are busy structuring a life, busy thinking of how things will work for us in the future, any mistake or deliberate act of such a concept of "infidelity" is only an act that is outrightly valid for fulfillment of the selfish "man" part of the guy, get it right "for" the guy and not against his partner, he is not doing such acts to deliberately hurt his partner, he is not going to because of that stop loving her nor stop the dreams they have together.

I think the issue of infidelity between two partners is something that needs to be decided and pondered on between the couples and not an external body who is weighing things based on his or her own person and ideology and philosophy of life. 

Agnes, i'm still that friend of yours who will continue to speak of his fiancée in an excellent way, in a way that calls upon all the beauties and good things of life, when i speak of her i want you to see true love and not "fidelity" true love never lies, true love is what i have for her and for no one else, i don't think  because a baby loves her mother so much, he won't still accept to be carried by other women but one thing that is sure is that no matter how much care is shown to a baby while asleep, when he "wakes up" he will cry for his mother, i will never tell you that i'm holy or saint, i will never be part of a discussion that refused to see the both side of things before concluding.

Yes it has happened and that for sure is what the issue on ground is, but we won't bend down to wail over a spilt milk, SHIT HAPPENS and life goes on, i don't want to feel bad that this happened, no that's not what i want to say, i don't want neither you nor even Hajarat nor anybody be the reason why i will feel sad about this incidence, i want an in-depth sad feeling that will chop into my bowels like a permanent cancer that will pungently remind me of the aftermath, when next i'm about to make a re-make of such actions.

My dear friend, i understand the level of your deception, at the same time i think i am glad this time came to be, for you and for me, to get one thing as a lesson out of it, every situation of life that touches us so much, that makes us be ashamed or disappointed, marks a remarkable experiences of our lives. I think if i have a good memory, so i can say there is no time, where i have been tempted to alter a word to you, in which i don't believe in, in which is not part of me, i don't think there has been a moment in my life where i am not trying to be myself, kissing a girl in party, for sure is extreme and i won't say i regret it because i believe so much in destiny and for me there is no coincidence, we are all elements of experiences, our past and present experiences teaches us and shows us what path to follow, what path will make us make a better decision in the future, i don't regret my actions but it has thought me somethings i still need to know about life and about myself.

I'm not trying to be too wise nor sound foolish but i think if Hajarat would have been in that scene, or perhaps you or Shamira would have been there, it wouldn't have happened i believe. Evey where i go, every single individual i meet i talk to them about my relationship, not because i enjoy talking about her, but just for the fact that i want these people i talk with to be the saving grace that will bring me back to senses when i am about to go astray, because that i cannot take control of, for i know myself to a certain degree, but those who are other than me, those who knows my story and narration can rewrite it for me, they can bring me out of my delirium, one thing that is sure and will continue to be until death do us part is that i love Hajarat, to the last drop of my life, while the word fidelity is not even in this narration, what i want now from my woman is her ability to trust me again, although she do but i just feel bad deep inside of me and its normal.

My dear friend, your demands are heavy, your expectations are augmented and larger than reality, and a bit of a difficult proposition for guys of our age group to accept. i can only talk of myself because i know exactly what i want, if what you want from we guys now, is to base the basis of our relationships on a solid rock foundation that outrightly matches with your image of 'fidelity", what about love and caring, what about the kind of life you both dream to have in the future, what about sincerity even in time of "infidelity", what about the things that makes you happy in your partner, will you for the sake of one infected finger cut away the whole of your arm? perhaps the way i see love is far more different from that of my contemporaries.

From your words "i don't think love will ever be stronger than instinct"  and i perfectly agree with you, at this stage of our life where everything is in movement, at this stage where we are the greatest adventurer with the healthiest energy, at this point where many of us are still trying to hold on to something, even those who already have something to hold on to, somethings will still want to see if there is a possible possibility of holding on to us, and tell me how do we resist, where does that energy of resistance comes from when you have "nothing" to loose in the process of giving it a trial, your proposition is not something we need to bother ourselves about now, now its the time to start building, now its the time to begin to get ready, a marriage doesn't mean success nor accomplishment, it is only the beginning of what could turn out to be success or another learning process, your proposition is what many guys will come to inculcate unto their life, on their own by the time our experiences and agility towards the opposite sex has brought us to a point of tranquil acceptance of our sincere partner as not just a wife but a celestial possession that needed to be looked after day and night, Agnes i bet you, that time is not now, we have a lot to grasp with, remember it is this same us who is in love and at the same time, thinking about a good life for those we love and those who loves us, we are running after a better life, running after our projects, running after a whole lot of deceptions and in this process of running remember devil is always around the corner, and his greatest weapon against we human is temptation. and only few can resist it.

If you say you don't want to ever be sad because of a guy, then you are still in a constant rebellion with reality, such declaration has said nothing to me but a refusal to learn and structure a way of life, in this process of being sad. do you ever have a clue of the fact that, the guy you claimed to be a mistress to is sincerely in love with someone, that person that makes life more meaningful whenever she is beside him, that person that freezes all other outside happenings beyond the space they both occupy, if i was to be a girl, i think i will focus my attention on being that girl that makes her man see another meaning to love and life whenever i'm with him, then i will care less about what happens on the market street, because lot of things happen on the market street.  

my judgement

My own judgement has been passed
and this is the day
I've lived all my life for Lucifer they say
i already had a dream of the day i will die
death by hanging to be precise,
just in few weeks
yet i am strong
it takes a real man to be
my only fear is for my people
those amongst them
who have accepted the new testament
are surely in error,
go through the fiction of my life
and write a new edition of it

Even dancers write

my dance needs no further salt nor pepper
my dance looks good even on paper
but my writing would not move the piper

then i developed the habit of
putting my thoughts and emotion into movements
putting my movements into words
my words into writing.
and storing them privately
Even dancers can write!

the most times I go to see the poets
I wonder why they don't write like me
and why I don't write like them
I began to hide my private part
and continue to steal floor,
for that was all I knew how to do
and they continue to see me
during my insanity
but I continue to hide-write.

finally the smoke of my hidden fire surfaced
the smell of my insanity followed me to the floor
they mocked "even dancers write?"
Ha ha ha...

and I continue to hide my private part
but continue to steal the floor.

when my poem suddenly became movement
when my emotion has got no boundary
when my words became adult
and my dance became even,
when I was least expected
I dance in the gathering of poets
and I stole the floor
they realized 
even dancers can write
this time no "ha ha ha..."

and they began to write dancers evenly.

speech

With the thought of the
1960 Nigerian madness
i learn how to dialogue
with the though of the future heroes
i contribute to my world
with the grace of my parent
I'm alive today
in the name of my family
i thank you listeners, audience
and readers of my poetry
in the name of my nation
i pledge to be humble
and i dedicate the award to all the
oppressed forgotten heroes
who didn't make the journey

if i were the king...

Don’t tell me about God,
Tell me about life when I’m gone
If I were the King
I will close more churches
To build more cemeteries
We’re all going to die Anyway.

Don’t tell me about the dead
Tell me about the living
If i were the King
I’ll close more hospitals
To build more Theatres
People get more healed there anyway.

Don’t tell me about Love
Tell me about Sex,
If I were the king
I will stop the use of condoms
To build people’s home
Fornication is because we have an option Anyway.

Don’t tell me about what is legal
Tell me about the unlawful
If I were the king
I will close more tribunals
To build my own tribunals
All lawyers are liars Anyway.